Photo: Gloria LamsonI don't like loud noises. Gunfire for one. Firecrackers for another. I'm almost certain we'll hear one or both of these tonight.
DuShawn is home. Whether he has been in prison or at college these past few months, it's hard to know, but we've seen him around, hanging with his buddies on the front porch at the end of the block. He's been, all things considered, relatively quiet. Just loud music from rattling cars.
It's just hard to trust the silence.
On this Eve of a New Year my first resolution is to not let DuShawn and his potential loudness bother me. We'll go to bed early, I'm certain, and try to sleep through it all with ear plugs and perhaps quiet music. I doubt that will do the trick, but the key for me is to not get upset about the firecrackers, the gunfire, the shouting.
That's really my resolution -- to limit my stress. This has been a great holiday break. There's nothing we missed out on this vacation. We saw family, we saw friends, we organized a few things around the house, we skied, we relaxed...we didn't do much school work, but there's always tomorrow...so I need to take that relaxation into the rest of the school year and just chill.
I know there is a lot to do in the coming weeks, but I'm trying to remember what my Dean of Faculty told me a couple years back when I was running down the hall on the first day of school hoping to get some copies made at the last minute. "Relax," she said, "They're just kids."
She was right. I'm the one with all the specific expectations. I know the height of the bar I'm shooting for. If I miss, they'll never know and even if they did, they won't be as hard on me as I am on myself.
So this year, my 48th year of trying to figure this out, will be focused on relaxing, avoiding stress, and just moving forward one step in front of the other without self-criticism or that bitter taste of panic at the back of my throat.
Ann teaches her students how to write resolutions. She focuses on helping the kids identify measureable goals. I'm not sure how I'll measure my level of stress or even my level of relaxation, but it feels right to focus on this goal. To let go a bit and just breathe.
Good luck me.
Four hours until midnight. It's quiet. Eerily quiet. No sign of DuShawn. Perhaps the party will be at someone else's house. Perhaps he'll shoot off his gun in another neighborhood. Perhaps the fireworks ran out and he has to depend upon his buddies' stash further south of the city or maybe even west.
One can only hope.
And just keep breathing.
DuShawn is home. Whether he has been in prison or at college these past few months, it's hard to know, but we've seen him around, hanging with his buddies on the front porch at the end of the block. He's been, all things considered, relatively quiet. Just loud music from rattling cars.
It's just hard to trust the silence.
On this Eve of a New Year my first resolution is to not let DuShawn and his potential loudness bother me. We'll go to bed early, I'm certain, and try to sleep through it all with ear plugs and perhaps quiet music. I doubt that will do the trick, but the key for me is to not get upset about the firecrackers, the gunfire, the shouting.
That's really my resolution -- to limit my stress. This has been a great holiday break. There's nothing we missed out on this vacation. We saw family, we saw friends, we organized a few things around the house, we skied, we relaxed...we didn't do much school work, but there's always tomorrow...so I need to take that relaxation into the rest of the school year and just chill.
I know there is a lot to do in the coming weeks, but I'm trying to remember what my Dean of Faculty told me a couple years back when I was running down the hall on the first day of school hoping to get some copies made at the last minute. "Relax," she said, "They're just kids."
She was right. I'm the one with all the specific expectations. I know the height of the bar I'm shooting for. If I miss, they'll never know and even if they did, they won't be as hard on me as I am on myself.
So this year, my 48th year of trying to figure this out, will be focused on relaxing, avoiding stress, and just moving forward one step in front of the other without self-criticism or that bitter taste of panic at the back of my throat.
Ann teaches her students how to write resolutions. She focuses on helping the kids identify measureable goals. I'm not sure how I'll measure my level of stress or even my level of relaxation, but it feels right to focus on this goal. To let go a bit and just breathe.
Good luck me.
Four hours until midnight. It's quiet. Eerily quiet. No sign of DuShawn. Perhaps the party will be at someone else's house. Perhaps he'll shoot off his gun in another neighborhood. Perhaps the fireworks ran out and he has to depend upon his buddies' stash further south of the city or maybe even west.
One can only hope.
And just keep breathing.
3 comments:
Happy New Year-- this one looks good, I think.
so - how did it go?
Surprisingly well. I turned over in bed at midnight, then slept like a baby until 2 when a series of fireworks zinged and sang and popped outside our bedroom window.
They must have been on a different time zone. Alaska, I think.
Or perhaps prison time.
Hard to say.
Glad you're back, BS.
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