Turning

The sun is turning the ice and snow into glistening pools of water only to be glazed over tonight by freezing temperatures and a clear sky. I love the power of nature to turn a whole city on its side forcing us to stay home and actually spend time together.

But turning is multi-layered and as I turn into my 48th year, I am reminded that to everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn, turn, turn...

Two bits of news came my way today. First, an ex from years back has been diagnosed with breast cancer that has, unfortunately, spread to her lymph nodes. The prognosis is not good. I've had no contact with her for years. She ventured off to Spain then Italy, I think, got married (to a man), had kids, and keeps in touch with a mutual friend who was the one to inform me of the sad news.

I don't know how to react. Do I get in touch with her or just pass along through our friend my support and thoughts of wellness? I chose the latter only because it feels disingenuous to connect up only after such dark news.

The second news struck me more deeply. Don D. died at my exact same age. We were good friends all through grade school and high school. Because our last names were right next to each other in the alphabet, we always sat one behind the other in every class (that's when teachers always set their seating charts in alphabetical order). Don and I struck up a friendship because we liked the same things -- basketball, sports of any kind, really, and laughing. We always got the evil optical reprimand from our teachers because we'd be laughing about one thing or another.

Generally, in middle school or high school, tomboys like myself were shunned by the boys, but Don was always my friend. While we didn't hang out as much, we'd still play basketball after school or sit by each other at football games. He was a good guy. He was always kind and thoughtful. He really cared and never took on that sort of forced machismo so many of my other male friends aspired to.

I think, though I'd have to check, he was voted "Best Smile" in the yearbook and if so, that's exactly what I will remember about him -- his beautiful, authentic, warm smile. A number of years ago, I saw him at a Husky women's basketball game and he was exactly the same -- warm, friendly, and full of laughter and that magnificent smile.

When I read his obituary today, I was surprised to find out that he wanted donations to be made to local animal shelters as he was an "avid animal rights activist." I shouldn't be shocked, really, because it fits. He was compassionate and it's easy to imagine how that compassion could spread to animals.

Funny how love -- the kind I thought I was in with my ex and the kind I didn't know I had for a classmate -- turns out to be important so many years later...a time to be born, a time to die...turn, turn, turn.