Good enough!

Good enough. It's been the mantra of my life. Am I good enough? Now, in a marriage to Ann, the most stable woman on the planet, I face a perplexing shift in perspective. "Good enough?" Ann says, "That's funny, I'm like always saying, 'I could probably do this better."

And then this:

Rubin, our 8 month old Labradoodle, has a tendency to bark. This is not necessarily good. 1) Because it's a loud, echoing bark and 2) I want to be a dog trainer -- having a dog that barks uncontrollably is like being a cobbler who has no shoes or a car mechanic without a functioning car...

His barking, I have assessed, comes from a bit of fear. He IS only a puppy and so some things do and will scare him. It took a bit of training to get him NOT to bark at the vacuum cleaner, but we have yet to overcome his fear of the furnace and the forced warm air through the big vent in the hallway. While he doesn't bark at the vent, he walks on the far, far side of a very narrow hallway to avoid it even when the furnace is not on.

He barks at sounds outside -- like the neighbor starting up his very old and loud Studebaker. He barks at the shadows of people who walk by the house. Early in the morning and and in the evening, when it's dark out, he barks at anyone, whether he knows them or not, because they look like dark shadows coming out of more dark shadows.

This is not good, so over the weekend I emailed the trainer with whom I am working and with whom we have been taking classes. He wrote a very long and wonderful email describing this "time" of Rubin's life -- his second phase of fear (his first being the first few months of his life) and how it's normal that certain things would startle him, but how we react will determine his ability to feel more emotionally balanced.

Okay, makes sense to me, so I keep reading this thoughtful email from the trainer.

Find a "treat" that is highly motivating for Rubin. When he barks, at the moment he takes a breath say, "Enough!" in a happy, positive voice, wave the highly motivating treat in front of his nose and then happily trot back to a designated "neutral" area saying "enough" all the way. Once he is quiet and in the neutral area focused on you (and the dandy little treat) praise him and give him the treat...and another...and another. The point: Have him associate those things that he usually fears with happiness and joy and the chance to eat his favorite treat. Soon (in about a month) he won't bark, he'll just run to his "happy place" and wait for a treat.

So this weekend we practiced. Ann rang the doorbell, he barked, I calmly said "enough" and trotted to the study, just down the hallway. He sat, stared at me in anticipation, I gave him the treats and he stopped barking.

Great! We practiced again and again. And then later, as we sat watching TV, he sprang up, barked at some noise from outside and I calmly said "enough" from my comfy place on the couch and lo and behold -- he ran his curly little bottom into the study, plopped into a sit, and looked at me like, "Okay, baby, cough up that treat!"

I was so startled I found myself saying, "Good enough, good enough!"

Jesus...it's all therapy isn't it? A canine conspiracy of some sort.

Good enough, good enough, we're all just good enough! Woo-hoo!