Where I Stand

It's Sunday night. Tomorrow I go back to work. 3 hours of teaching, 3 hours of dog walking, and then obedience class for an hour. That's a short day. I think I can handle it. Tuesday's not so bad either, but Wednesday's shaping up to be a long one and Friday, too since I'll be working at the pool with the dogs. Oh, and let's not forget that I work a full day on Saturday. Thursday will allow a breath, but only a short one.

This is my life for now. Until June 11 when I am done with teaching and will be able to retrieve my mornings again. It's weird thinking about being on a non-teacher schedule. I know it's hard on Ann since we've almost always had the same schedule, but she knows this is the way the rest of the world works and so she is resigned to spending some Saturdays alone and waiting up on some nights.

At least it's no longer REI where I got home at 10 and worked one day every weekend. And I was sore from lifting backpacks onto the backs of rich people for less than $10 an hour.

It's a transition and my body can feel it from head to toe. There's the physical changes -- walking dogs for 4 hours a day then climbing into a pool with them for massage, active exercise, and doing my best to keep them level and swimming -- as well as the mental ones -- learning the difference between cross friction massage and passive range of motion, memorizing superficial muscles and all the tendons, and keeping track of the intricate communication system of client charts, scheduling books, and employee notes written on blue sticky notes.

My head sometimes feels like it's going to explode. But it can't yet because I must finish report cards -- 2 page narratives for 22 students -- and I must finish out the school year including a late night event for the students' final performance. My head must stay intact. My body, too.

Today was my only day off this week. Next Sunday and Monday I'll have off as well. There's a part of me that just wants to lie in bed all day and read a book while eating an omelet followed by waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. Working so much has helped me lose weight though I'm not sure it's a healthy way to lose it. At the end of a 13 hour day, when I've eaten very little, I down a quick dinner and fall into bed. On the days when I'm not working as much, I binge on as much food as I can tolerate hoping to supplement the calories I've missed on the days when I don't have time to eat.

I'm hoping it all levels out after June 11. I need it to level out. I need to feel the rhythm again in my life.

Soon.