The Next Move

I've finished my first round of small animal massage work and am on to the next and hopefully final level before I become licensed. The next round looks much more involved something for which I feel both apprehensive and excited. I want the challenge though I know I'll be stretching my 51-year-old brain in ways I'm not sure it can stretch anymore.

We'll see how it goes.

But after my dreams of the past few nights, I can tell I'm focused and nervous about this next move. First, I keep dreaming about people watching me as I massage a dog. This is a reliving of the "test" I was asked to take during my first round of massage education and in the dream, I feel the pressure (no pun intended) to do everything just right. This is not good pressure. Instead, it's the kind of pressure that didn't (and doesn't in the dream) allow me to really feel what I'm doing. Since I'm still new to this profession, the knack of "feeling" my work is new to me and with eyes watching every move I make (not only with the dog, but with my own body) put me more in my head than my hands. My boss always says her brain is in her hands and now, after a few months of this work, I'm starting to understand what she means.

The other dreams range from trying to escape from floods, helping friends with their grammar, and trying to manage large groups of dogs or children in huge, crowded cities. This is how I handle my doubts about this next move. In my dreams, I put myself in tough situations and work on trying to maneuver through them. Ironically, I'm sleeping better than ever before though not as long as I'd like.

Of course yesterday, after finishing my massage course, I sat on the couch relaxing by watching a movie when I saw the aura in the bottom part of my right eye. "Damn!" I thought. "A migraine." Despite the medication, it hit me full force. I knew it was a result of a week's worth of concentrating in a way I don't have to either as a dog walker or massage therapist, but nonetheless, it knocked me out and sent me to bed for a dark and fitful sleep.

I'm back to dog walking tomorrow and then an evening at the pool. Spike, my favorite old dog is on the schedule and so is Max, my second favorite. I'm looking forward to that work again -- both the walking and the massage -- moving from my head to my hands and my feet. I still marvel at how I got here and while there are times I panic about money, life is moving along quite nicely these days.

Quite nicely.