Our Current Focus

Today was a weird day. I worked at home, meeting with our Dean of Faculty and one other teacher to write up our assigned section of the accreditation document. It's a beast. And frankly, once we get approved for accreditation, the document will sit on a shelf somewhere and no one will pay any attention to it.

Still, we blurred our eyes and fried our brains editing, rewriting, and rephrasing the document...again and again and again.

It's hard to stay motivated when I feel so torn about work. I love my job on the one hand -- the teaching, the kids, the families -- and abhor it on the other -- the lack of structure, the deceit, the inability and unwillingness to diminish the chaos. I went back and forth today between leaving at the end of this year and staying for one more year ...

...and then the phone rang and we got the message from school that one of our students (she was in my class last year) has been diagnosed with cancer. That makes student number 2 with such a diagnosis. They aren't sure exactly which kind of cancer, yet, but it's not looking good.

Why, my teaching partner asked me over the phone, do the most messed-up families have to cope with such tragedy?

It's true...E. who is battling leukemia, lives in a family that can barely dress themselves let alone raise a child. V., the recent student diagnosed with some kind of lymphoma, has parents who can barely say a kind word to each other and are equally torn about their expecatations for their daughter.

There's weird ju-ju in the atmosphere...I'm telling you...weird-ass ju-ju.

So instead, we're focusing on this...

One of these cute bundles with their eyes closed will be ours. We drive down to Sisters, Oregon next weekend where we'll meet them along with their human owners and spend our time rolling around on the floor smelling their puppy heads. They're only 2 weeks old in this picture, but by next weekend, their eyes will be open and they'll be moving around a bit more at 4 weeks old.

I can hardly wait. I'm already so excited about a new dog in our house, I'm not even sure I can wait until the end of April when we drive back down to Sisters to pick him up. Yes, it looks as if it will be a him and one of the darker, redder hims piled somewhere in this photo.

I find myself dreaming about the puppy wondering how he'll do during our long drive back from Sisters to Seattle with a stop along the way at my brother and sister-in-laws house so we can spend the night and let the little guy meet his four-footed relatives, Hope and Ringo. Should be interesting.

I dream about our walks through the neighborhood and our first visit to the vet. I dream about how much he'll enjoy our doggie friends -- Monty and Lulu and Josie and Lucky and Salal and Ben and Keenan. I dream about our ferry ride to Bremerton to see Grandma and Grandpa and then Fossilguy and Bookworm. I dream about how everyone will "ooh" and "ahh" and giggle and snuggle over the little fur ball. And dreaming of it all keeps my spirits up. Knowing we're ready for a new dog in my life gives me hope.

I can hardly wait to feel his soft, full belly and listen to him sleep deeply, twitching his little paws as he dreams next to me.