Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Dear Rachel Maddow

A number of years ago, Showtime "pushed the envelope" of television with their production of "The L Word," a weekly series about a group of lesbians in Los Angeles. In our household, we watched and were surprised. We were surprised that women were actually kissing on TV, but more than that, they were having "sex" that was beyond the heavy petting of most television shows with lesbian characters.

We were also surprised by the women who, dressed in the latest fashions, were skinny, beautiful, and incredibly feminine. Not the lesbians can't be feminine, it's just that these women were more feminine than most straight women we knew. Let's just say, none of the characters on "The L Word" that first season played softball.

We were surprised that all of them had nice houses and/or apartments and jobs that obviously put them in the higher tax brackets. Again, not that lesbians can't be rich, but the combination of young, beautiful, skinny, feminine and rich doesn't really reflect the world in which we live. We'd often watch that first (and sometimes second) season and say to each other, "Wow, this is nothing like our life!" and while that's something we often say when watching movies or television shows, we had higher hopes for "The L Word" because it offered us a chance to actually see ourselves on the screen in a real way.

Only it wasn't in a real way.

A few months ago, in a fit of frustration, anger, and the need to hear from people who shared my views, I flipped on your radio show while driving to work one evening. I was impressed. Knowledgeable, intelligent, well-written, and not too "shouty," something we abhor about talk radio. Then I found you on MSNBC and thought, "Yes! Finally a woman of intelligence analyzing the news with a leftist perspective and she doesn't look like a beauty queen." (Not that you aren't attractive, but just not attractive in that Jennifer Beal anorexic way.)

Next, I heard you interviewed on another radio show (I think it was NPR) when you talked about how awkward it was to get "made up" for your television show. You were irritated by the make up. It wasn't you. It was uncomfortable. Well, if that wasn't you, I thought to myself, who were you?

I "googled" you and what I saw was a young, attractive woman in faded jeans, a t-shirt, converse shoes and big "masculine" glasses and I remember laughing out loud. "My god," I shouted to my partner in the other room, "She looks like us!"

And now, months after I found you, you're getting all sorts of press attention. Even the New York Times covered your "rise" on the national scene. And there, in their extensive article, was a picture of you with your black lab in a room filled with books. They even had a picture of your red truck and your refurbished house and again I thought, "She's just like us!"

It was refreshing. It was refreshing to read about your relationship, about your day-to-day activities, and your feelings about stardom. You sounded normal. You looked normal. You had a normal life. You were a lesbian who looked like you actually played softball a time or two in your life. You read books. You watched old movies. You worked on your house. You walked the dog.

"The L Word" needs to write another show called "The Real L Word" and set it in Maine on a farm where young (and old) lesbian professionals and farmers and plumbers and teachers struggle to live their values without makeup and $4000 shoes and have real conversations about books and politics and recipes and gardening and movies and all the things "real lesbians" do.

Sure, there could still be kissing and sex, but maybe a little less serial monogamy and more committed relationships. Sure, there could still be a level of drama and difficulties, but more about issues we all face like paying bills, and who's going to take care of the dog while on vacation, and illness and adoptions and all the things real lesbians (and all people) face each and every day.

So, I thank you for persevering, for your willingness to wear the make up for a few hours a day so you can be on television for all to find, for speaking out against the neo-cons, and for being true to yourself and your values. It means a lot...especially to real lesbians like myself.

2 comments:

jess said...

The overuse of quotations is astounding.

Triple Dog said...

Wow, thanks for the positive comment. Do you read all blogs for such issues? You have far more time on your hands than I.

Perhaps Sarah Palin can hire you as a speech writer or even John McCain. I'm certain they need the help more than I do, but I could be mistaken.

Who are you?