Sleepy Optimism

The alarm went off four times before I realized Ann was hitting snooze again and again. Technically, I don't need to get up until later, but in support of Ann's bread-winning position in my life, I get up early to make coffee and breakfast. We are both tired this morning after sitting in front of the TV way to long watching one more analysis of Obama's inauguration. (If there is one thing I've learned from all of this it's how to spell inauguration.)

His words were moving. I keep reading in this morning's papers the word "somber" as if everyone had a different expectation. These are somber times, aren't they? Was he supposed to come out and say, "Ain't life great?" I mean, what must the guy be thinking about late at night when he can't sleep? "Shit! What have I done? I could have been a cushy lawyer in some high paying law firm or a tweed-coated professor at Yale. Why this?"

And what does his wife tell him? "You screw this up and it's grounds for divorce, sugar!"

Still, even though I know it's awful in the world right now, even though I worry myself about finances and the future and all that falderall (which I'm uncertain how to spell and the dictionary is offering no help at all!)...I am feeling optimistic these days. Sure, when the bank lost my deposit the other day and another bank shows a debit I had never recorded for the same amount the previous bank lost (too confusing to explain, but it's eerie) I feel hopeful (though I'm trying not to get tired of the word "hope") and optimistic.

Maybe it's because Bush is finally gone. Maybe it's because I don't have to listen to his slurry, slushy speech anymore. Maybe it's because, as a country, we're looking more critically at the crazy values of our economy. Maybe it's because people seem somehow nicer these days, kinder and more gentle with each other. Maybe it's something more personal -- like turning 50 and realizing this is it, baby, and the more I whine and worry the more whine and worry hover around me.

Who knows. This is a new day and oddly I'm carrying with me the voice of Aretha Franklin singing My Country tis of Thee. That's a pretty good start for a day, for a week, for a month, for a new country and a new world.

My favorite moment:

"...we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around ... when yellow will be mellow ... when the red man can get ahead, man; and when white will embrace what is right." Rev. Joseph Lowery